Sit!

Thumper muses in his blog on the tendency of submissive men to keep track of the number of days they have been denied – going so far as to install counters on their blogs, or graphing horniness over time. He observes that his wife doesn’t like to be reminded of time spent in chastity, because it makes her feel like she’s being measured. And he wonders whether in gay couples that play with chastity, both partners get off on the record keeping.

Good question. So I asked Bear. The answer is, no, he doesn’t get off on the record keeping. But he knows I keep track and loves teasing me with it, as in ‘has it really only been 7 weeks?’ I, of course, adore being teased like that. He does not feel measured or held to a standard, and he doesn’t mind that I, being obsessed with my own state, know to the day how long it has been since I last came (4 weeks, 1 day today).

Right now I am in Munich. I find I have no desire to disobey and masturbate, or come, although doing so would be simplicity itself – we don’t use devices, after all. I get a form of contented joy mixed with pride from that: Obedience to Bear’s command, at least when it comes to my sexual pleasure and orgasm, now feels ingrained in me. I am a good dog. 🙂

A little while ago I talked with Bear to revisit our previous attempts at orgasm control, before I figured out that what I needed to do to obey was to keep my fingers off my frenum. Bear told me that at the time, he was frustrated because to him it felt like he was trying to control something that couldn’t be controlled.

‘Oh?’ I said and brought up Tom’s piece on device versus denial: That these are different kinks, that one, with device, kinks on control, while the other, without device, kinks on obedience. He gets that, Bear replied. So I inquired whether he had an interest in the ‘control’ side of the kink, using a device. Possibly, he said. Not anytime soon.

Well. I couldn’t let an opportunity to share the devices I’ve been oggling with a mixture of dread and arousal go to waste, so I showed Bear the Looker 02. ‘Does that completely prevent erections?’ he asked. I said yes, it did. ‘I don’t want that,’ he said.

He is more interested in a device that just covers the glans, or the underside of the head, and still allows full erections. Which would mean a Prince Albert piercing: There’s no other good way to keep something like that on. For some reason, I find the idea of getting a piercing in order to wear a device Bear wants, or as a mark of ownership, incredibly fucking hot. The idea to be permanently marked by Bear like that is scary and exciting at the same time. But left to my own devices, I wouldn’t get such a piercing in a million years.