I am in “submissive training” or, probably more accurately and less formally, in “submissive mentoring” with Mistress Sky, and she taught me 4 submissive concepts during our first session together. I find them immensely useful, more so as the weeks go by, and wanted to share.
Being alert. Specifically, being aware of my surroundings, and noticing things that might benefit Bear, and thus us. And then taking action on that, not being shy. That might be noticing something that I think Bear may like, and making him aware of it. That might be noticing something that can be improved in our household or our lives, and doing something about it.
– I can get a whole lot better at this. This will be a constant opportunity for improving myself.
Honesty. Not so much the dictionary definition of “don’t tell a lie,” but showing my true inner self, honestly. That takes a ton of trust, and feeling safe enough to do that. In some cases, the “true inner self” can surprise the submissive, once it comes out.
– I’d say we’re doing well here. No surprises yet, though. Who knows what’s in store.
In the first instance. To react to Bear’s dominant energy with my own submissive energy, first and foremost. He tosses the ball, I toss it back. To give a concrete example, say Bear orders me to get him a drink. First and foremost, “yes Sir.” And then, if needed, “what kind of drink”, or “I’m in the middle of something, can it wait 2 minutes”, or whatever other minutiae and questions may come up. But first, react submissively to my dominant partner.
– Oh dear, “in the first instance”. I am so so good at analyzing and picking apart and thinking it through, I really struggle with this. And I am getting better at this. I enjoy the opportunity to practice.
Being fully present. To give my full attention, for sure, but more than that. To be fully present emotionally. To connect with Bear from the heart, to hold nothing back. To be emotional first, analytical and in the head second.
– I’m pretty happy with where I’m at here. There’s room for growth to be sure. When I feel myself growing distant from Bear, I recall this and see that I can use a small gesture or turn of phrase to bring us closer together again.
I hope these can be as useful to you as they are to me. If they help you, leave a comment and let me know how it went!