I was talking over the finer points of orgasm vs. “ruined orgasm” vs. ejaculation with Thumper on his blog – as one does – and he linked to a piece where he discusses the difference, in his dynamic, between what constitutes an orgasm and what really does not. I see myself in a lot of what he’s describing, the actual goings-on are probably universal to most if not all men. And that got me to thinking: I think I know that any ejaculation is an orgasm in my dynamic, but do I know? I better discuss this with Bear.
So we did. Discuss. And, yep, around here, if the dick twitches and there is semen coming out, that’s an orgasm. No matter how calm that feels or how “ruined”. And it’s not something I’m allowed to do without express permission. I thought that was what the rules were, but it was good to make that explicit one more time. The key to that is what Bear thinks an orgasm is, not any kind of Universal Truth about orgasms.
This does however conflict with something else Bear said – probably about a year ago at this point: He wanted me to “milk myself” for prostate health. And, it turns out, that’s just not a thing for me. Without some form of stimulation of the dick, I don’t ejaculate; and when I do ejaculate, see above, it’s an orgasm, one of those Things Not Allowed.
So I asked Bear how he wanted to handle that. Suggestions I had were to just drop the idea of “milking for prostate health” entirely, I’m perfectly happy to only come when he wants me to. The other ideas were to use the electro-stim toy we have or manual stimulation to induce a “ruined orgasm” in his presence, on a cadence he sets, maybe while we’re doing something else: Reading, or watching something, or playing a game while on the couch. It can take a while, and I certainly didn’t mean to suggest he’d have to pay attention to my dick the entire time.
He mulled it over briefly, and then announced: “I think I’d like to make you come more often. When I’m feeling better.” (He’s got a nasty cold right now)
“Oh?” I said.
“Yes,” he said. “Maybe once or twice a month.”
“Oh wow,” I said.
“I like seeing you come, and it’ll be good for your prostate,” he said. “Let’s try it for a little while.”
All right then. For a little while, during sex with Bear, I’ll be having all the orgasms, all the time. At least that’s what “once or twice a month” feels like now. It’s not up to me whether I come all the time or none of the time, and I really dig that.
A common myth is “prostate milking”. Some people claim they ejaculate fully with prostate massage. Generally, they are masturbated in some way at the same time. If you’ve had an examination from a urologist and he “milks” your prostate, you will see that a very small amount of fluid comes out. He, of course, needs the specimen for testing.
The point is that milking the prostate with no other stimulation or arousal will only yield a small amount of fluid. Also, ejaculation is not needed for male reproductive health. Several of us have checked with urologists. They point out that many men don’t orgasm for long periods with no damage.
Yup, agreed on all of that.
My first time ever prostate milking I had a cum squirting orgasm without ever touching my penis.
Since then milking is always milking seminal fluid mmmmmmmm.