A day after I last came, I was horny. Four days after I last came, I was crawling up the walls horny. I thought this was a new thing. Surely, I had never experienced something like this before: An orgasm that left me desperate for another, instead of calming me down for a spell. It’s incredibly distracting. I seek out sexual stimulation, the pathways of the brain well groomed to associate this with release, although I full well know it won’t give me release, just a straining erection and sexual frustration.
And then I realized: No, I probably have been here before. In the past, when I came without permission after three or four days, this is what it was. This feeling of needing another orgasm, craving it beyond thought.
What’s new is riding that feeling out. It turns out there’s relative calm waiting on the other side, around day six or so. I just never got there previously. I’d edge myself, edge too close, and come, then feel bad for it.
Bear is rolling the idea of owning my frenum around in his mind. He knows it excites me when he says “your frenum belongs to me.” He’s still puzzled by it, since it is so far from his own experience. He himself does not react well at all to a partner claiming ownership of parts of his body. I, in contrast, kink on being owned. If I didn’t, this play between us wouldn’t work. Bear remains puzzled regardless, I think.