For my own amusement mostly (easily amused, me), I’ll be tracking here when I came, and maybe how. I promise not to create pie charts.
Where it says “without permission”, that’s me misjudging how close I am during masturbation. Picture this as me taking my hands away, and then ejaculating some five to ten seconds later anyway. I’ll learn not to do that. Eventually.
7/11/20 During mutual masturbation, Bear stopped but kept his hand on my cock. 20 to 30 seconds later I came; Bear told me it was “fine”.
6/11/20 Without permission. I was lightly rubbing my foreskin while caged, and the pressure of the cage meant I came a few seconds after stopping stimulation. I’m learning how dangerous cages are. It’s more difficult to refrain from orgasm with, than without.
04/11/20 Without permission. I was playing with a cock cage that arrived, and attempting to get it on put too much pressure on my glans. I ejaculated, though it didn’t “feel like” a full orgasm.
(10/27/19) Involuntary nocturnal emission, which I reflexively tried to stop. My first, ever. I was dreaming about something administrative and my hand was nowhere near my dick.
05/18/19 Similar to last week – this time he stopped but kept his hand on my dick. After a minute or so that was too much.
05/11/19 Bear knew I was close, wanted to keep me there, and misjudged. Oops.
05/04/19 Bear had me come with him, on a whim.
03/10/19 Bear tied me to a chair and teased me; then more teasing in bed. I told him I was close; he kept me on the edge for minutes after that, until it was too much and I came. The orgasm was unintended; Bear tells me I did communicate well to him how close I was.
02/26/19 During mutual masturbation, Bear ordered me to come. Painfully intense.
02/1/19 Without permission. I was away from Bear for 8 days, and that proved to be too much for my willpower. I knew what I was doing, just told myself I wouldn’t come. Yeah, right.
11/22/18 Thanksgiving orgasm, and it was a good one. I am thankful that I got to stay horny for 4 months+
07/14/18 Bear teased me and brought me close repeatedly. I was really hoping he wouldn’t have me come. No such luck.
07/04/18 Bear had ordered me to come a few days earlier, and I couldn’t. This time, I could. Could I ever.
06/17/18 I think I can safely say we’re doing orgasm control, no more orgasm denial :).
06/09/18 Bear “resetting” me.
06/07/18 Without permission. Played with electrostim and really, really shouldn’t have done that.
05/27/18 Bear got me close the previous day but couldn’t get me off, then had me come on this day. Interesting. There is such a thing as “too soon”; my body balks.
05/22/18 Bear kept me close while I was sucking him off, then had me come with him.
05/16/18 Too soon for my taste. Bear was right to have me come here, though, it’s made me more productive.
04/30/18 During mutual masturbation, Bear had me come.
04/19/18 During mutual masturbation, Bear ordered me to come.
04/15/18 I was seriously worried the neighbors could hear us. “Wow, that was loud!” was my first comment, which sent Bear into a good minute of belly laughs. Good start to the day.
04/04/18 Bear wasn’t kidding when he told me I’d come a lot.
03/28/18 Anniversary gift. Bear teased me for half an hour, then fucked me well, then got me off using his hand. This was insanely hot.
03/16/18 Tried “relaxing into” the orgasm, which was lovely.
March – three ejaculations without permission. That change to masturbatory habits clearly needs some work still
02/25/18 Third day in a row that Bear came and kept me on the edge each time. Today, he ordered me to come with him. Don’t have to tell me twice.
02/10/18 Screaming. Literally. Ow, that was intense.
January – I think there was one without permission, and another attempted change to masturbatory habits as a result. Fingers crossed.
12/28/17 Year end, not much else to say.
December – Sometime, without permission.
11/25/17 Without permission, hands-off. A bit different that time, there was no “I went too far” moment, from “nice” to “I’m going to come” in an instant. Preceded by prolonged tease. Change made: No more very prolonged teasing.
11/13/17 Without permission, hands-off.
10/7/17 Bear valiantly tries to get himself off two days in a row, and brings me close again and again in a bid to raise his own excitement. He keeps me whimpering on the edge just a little too long, and I have a ruined orgasm. He tells me it’s okay, not my fault.
2017 – I didn’t track orgasms without permission through much of 2017, because I felt ashamed and discouraged by my repeated failure to obey. Assume every 6-7 weeks or so, sometimes more often.
9/14/17 Estimated day. Some Thursday in September. Bear decides he wants me to come.
7/7/17 After some cock bondage and hanging 5+ pounds off my balls, Bear has me get on all fours and strokes me. When he gets tired, he allows me to bring myself close. I come hands free, on all fours. Loved it.
6/29/17 Don’t remember the particulars :).
4/28/17 Bear kept stroking me as I came. Oww oww oww. Intense, which I love, but intense.
4/1/17 While in Cabo San Lucas. April Fool’s orgasm?
2016 – I didn’t track orgasms without permission in 2016, because I felt ashamed and discouraged by my repeated failure to obey. Assume every 6-7 weeks or so, sometimes more often.
12/3/16 After getting Bear off through frottage, he has me get close again, then finishes me off.
11/29/16 I don’t warn Bear in time, and after ten seconds or so without stimulation, I come.
10/9/16 Sooner than expected. Hurrah. 🙂
8/11/16 We’re on a mini-vacation in Florida when Bear decides to make me come, after getting me close four or five times.
5/16/16 Bear “resets” me by ordering me to come, after I had ejaculated without permission a week earlier. The contractions are so strong my taint hurts afterwards.
03/31/16 Bear let’s me come, then the next day says he wanted to give me something to remember our trip by, as it’ll be a while again before I come. Unf.
12/06/15 (or thereabouts) During mutual masturbation.
11/22/15 Bear has me straddle him and teases me. It’s so intense it’s painful. That’s a new one. Then, when I am stroking him, he continues bringing me close, and eventually gets me over the edge though he didn’t mean to. Mercifully, he does stimulate me during this orgasm. Holy. Fuck.
10/31/15 Bear gets me close a few times, then brings me over the edge and stops stimulating me. That was frustrating. He didn’t mean to frustrate me, he says.
09/18/15I’m feeling lonely and my mind’s going to destructive places. Against Bear’s wishes, I tease myself and come. Without stimulation during the orgasm.
08/14/15 We are vacationing in Florida. Bear teases me while I suck him off, muses aloud whether to let me come, then doesn’t. The next day, he holds my cock while I stroke him to orgasm, then he brings me close again and allows me to come.
07/26/15 Bear tells me he’ll treat me by making me come, because I’ve been good. He starts stroking me, I ask to be allowed to suck him off. He fucks my face while still stroking me, and times it so I come right as he explodes in my mouth. It doesn’t get better than this.
06/21/15 Bear, on a whim, has me come with him after getting me close a couple of times. “Because you didn’t see that coming,” he says. That orgasm is so intense my taint and balls hurt.
06/13/15I play around with Skyrim sex mods, wearing ball weights and shaft / glans rings. I see my character raped repeatedly, wearing thigh cuffs very similar to the ones I wore with Bear in a rape scene just a little while ago. I think back to that scene and get so excited I come without touching myself. Luckily, Bear is amused, even pleased, not angry.
06/03/15 Bear lets me come a week or so after our anniversary, when I no longer expect it.
02/21/15Bear binds me to a four-poster in a nice spa, teases me, I go from “we’d better stop right around here” to point of no return in about 0.5 seconds. Without stimulation during the orgasm.
02/07/15Bear teases me, I tell him I’m close, he gives me one more stroke. I can’t hold on. Without stimulation during the orgasm.
01/09/15 Bear brings me close a few times, then tells me I am allowed to come. Happy new year :).
12/05/14I blatantly disregard Bear’s command and stroke myself in the shower.
11/19/14 Bear tells me to masturbate and come on his belly.
10/28/14 I play with my “package” and come without permission. Bear rules it an accident.
8/13/14 Bear wants a frot session more than he wants me denied.
5/24/14 Wedding anniversary orgasm.
4/22/14 I come without permission, again, this time because I was squeezing my cock.
3/21/14 Bear “resets” me.
1/15/14 New Year’s Day orgasm, delayed by Bear’s whim.
(half of 2013)
11/28/13 Because it was Thanksgiving.
11/1/13 Bear’s birthday gift to himself.
9/22/13 Bear strokes me to orgasm, and it’s almost painfully pleasant.
9/6/13 With permission, and that’s all I remember.
8/27/13 I ejaculate without permission using a vibrator. At the time I didn’t think this was an orgasm, but yeah it was – and it was a warning of things to come (oh the pun), which I ignored.
8/17/13 Truly lovely, bondage and teasing and sensation play. First orgasm after figuring out that the key to obedience is not touching my frenum.
7/28/13 While in Aylesbury, after a bit of bondage. I came without permission and this was the orgasm that got me to really looking into ways to help me be obedient. At the time I thought that had to be a device.
7/24/13 While in Scotland. Lots of fun.