Nothing much changes for months, and then a bunch of stuff does within weeks. Fun!
We’ve been to a D/s intensive, “Delving into Power“, we have a new ritual and another one we’re going to experiment with, and I had my first-ever nocturnal emission. I’d call it a “wet dream” but it really wasn’t that.
Delving into Power is a weekend intensive that Lee Harrington runs with small groups. If you have a chance to catch it, and you are interested in living in some form of power dynamic, go for it. You’ll be exchanging ideas and sharing dreams with the other folk there, about how to keep power exchange alive, and to build the relationship you want or dream of.
Bear told me he thought he’d get something out of the weekend, but not that it’d touch him as deeply as it did. I’m chuffed about that. It’s easy to loose steam, and anything to inject some energy is welcome.
Before the intensive, Bear told me he had a fantasy of having me greet him at the door when he comes home from work, to kneel and kiss his cock, but that he never knows whether I am done with work and that he doesn’t want to disturb me.
Well! That I can solve. What we settled on is that I’ll respond to Bear’s habitual “omwh” text with either “I’ll be here” or the reason why I won’t be available. And he’ll text back telling me whether I should await him standing or kneeling, or do something else.
We’ve done this all of three times now, twice where I knelt and kissed his cock to welcome him back home, once with a hug, and I LOVE it. This new ritual is a keeper, and was so easy to add to what we were already doing anyway.
From the intensive we brought back the idea of “three up three down”, or “Rose, thorn, bud” – taking time to exchange things that went well, that didn’t go well, or that we look forward to, during the day or the week.
We will try this once a week with a “at least three” format, on Saturdays after housework. We will see how it goes and then adjust.
Because the nearest MAsT meeting to us is 1.5 hours away one way, we are going to host MAsT in this part of the state. These meetings have always been a great way to connect with people and get new perspectives and ideas. I am looking forward to having them more often.
This morning, I had my first-ever nocturnal emission. We were staying in a hotel for the intensive, and I woke up because my dick was pulsing. I habitually tried to stop the ejaculation by squeezing my PC muscle tight, because I obviously had no permission to orgasm. Because of that, the brief orgasm I had mainly just hurt.
I was not fully awake, and confused by what just happened. I remembered that I had a dream that featured Bear, another woman and myself, and that we had been discussing something administrative. My hands where nowhere near my dick. What an odd dream to have an orgasm to.
And I drifted off to sleep again. When I properly woke up in the morning, and after serving Bear coffee, I told him what had happened. At this point I was pretty happy with the experience. I had not felt any reduction in arousal or desire. I was still hard during the night, and in the morning.
Bear was amused, and when I told him I thought this meant he truly could have me come for his amusement only, since my body would take care of anything that needed to “get out”, he agreed.
And then he asked me how I’d feel about coming a lot, so he could train me to come on command. I told him I was at a point now where I truly believe my orgasm belongs to him, so if he wants me to come every other day, that’s fine. If it ended up draining me emotionally, I’d tell him. He liked that part.
He does not know that he wants to put the effort in to attempt to train me that way, and neither one of us have more than a very vague idea of how such training would work, anyway. I am to look into it and report back, so he can decide whether, or when, he wants to go for it.
And I am to attempt to stop the ejaculation every time I have a nocturnal emission. It’s fine, it’s natural, it amuses Bear; and, it doesn’t mean I suddenly have permission to come. Attempting to stop it is still the right response, even as that’s doomed to fail.
I am thrilled I came at night, spontaneously, without any drop in desire or refractory period. I was hoping that’d happen if I was denied long enough, and I’d never had a “wet dream” in my life before. I fantasized I’d have a wet dream, where I dream of sex with Bear and that’s how I come. That it was instead a dream about figuring out the administrative details of something, I don’t even remember what, is wonderfully odd.