Happy Holidays

Time is relative

We were lying in bed and I was, admittedly, fishing. I commented to Bear that he was much more comfortable with longer periods of chastity – and what did he consider a short, medium or long time to be, now?

Bear thought. “Short is up to two weeks, medium is three weeks to two months, and beyond that is long,” he said.

Oof. I haven’t ever gone two months. The longest period without orgasm has been “just shy of” six weeks. The knowledge that Bear is this comfortable in pushing me, that two months, which seems long to me, is still a medium amount of time to him, is seriously hot.

I don’t regret going fishing.


Being grateful can help living a happy life. I’d have to describe myself as one happy motherfucker, then.

Somewhere around week 2 to 3 of chastity, I become calmer. I am still horny, still want to come. And there’s a growing sense of gratitude for being denied, quieting the desperate, frantic, oh-God-let-me-come voice.

It’s a constant, and less intense, version of the gratitude I feel when Bear masturbates me. When I suck Bear off, he usually plays with my cock. When I am lucky, he will use oil to masturbate me, which is bliss. Initially, it is a little distracting. Most of my attention is on his cock and his pleasure, and there’s a sizable portion of my attention that’s focused on my own, and my desire to come. And as he gets me close and backs off again, and repeats that, by about the third time he has me on edge, my entire body is on fire, and I can let go of my desire to come, float in the pleasure I am receiving, feel an immense sense of gratitude, and focus all of my attention on his pleasure. Feeling him come in my mouth, after that, is wonderful.

It takes me a good hour to get down from the high of having been brought to the edge repeatedly.


“Come over here and kneel,” Bear says. I do, kneeling at the edge of the bed.

“Kiss my cock,” he says. I do. He tastes slightly salty.

“Now suck me off,” he says. And as I do that, I am hard and straining.

That did not use to be the case. Unless I received some direct stimulation myself, I wouldn’t be hard when sucking off Bear. So, what’s changed? For one, longer periods of chastity mean I’m hornier. But I think there’s a second reason: Mainly, I receive pleasure when I suck off Bear. And that’s also when I am allowed to come, if I come – at least most of the time. I think I now associate sucking Bear off with my own pleasure, and that’s why I am hard when I take him into my mouth. It might be a form of conditioning. How very kinky.

 New toy

The njoy Pure Wand arrived. To channel Mr. Slave: Oh Jesus, Jesus Christ!

Mostly, it just feels intensely good. It is quite useful for “milking”; I can produce drops of semen without an erection. If I am erect while using it, I run the risk of coming just from the stimulation of the wand alone. That’s a new one for me. I think I only once came from being penetrated, and that was years and years ago with Bear.


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