One year since Bear agreed to try longer-term orgasm denial with me, without the use of a chastity cage. In that time, I ejaculated twice: One involuntary nocturnal emission, and an ejaculation when trying on a cage. Ironically enough. Lesson learned: When desperate enough, a tight cage will cause me to ejaculate.
For the past week-and-a-bit, I’d been wearing a redesigned Evotion cage. It anchors through the PA, and Evotion doesn’t ask for the height of the pin, which means it didn’t fit me initially. This iteration fits and is comfortable, as long as I don’t use the tip on it. We asked for a lock that didn’t have a tip and leaves the glans exposed, expecting that the tip might not fit even on the second try. I’ll keep working with Evotion on that.
Bear says he likes the cage, it looks sexy and it makes him feel like he has more control. I expect I’ll be wearing it more often. Which I feel ambivalent about: I like the cage, for the way it constrains my cock and my options; and I like having options and using different kinds of PA jewelry.
For our “orgasm denial anniversary”, Bear decided to reward me. First he fucked me, playing with my balls to have my cock strain in the cage; then an hour or so later, he removed the cage, put a puppy hood on me, tied me to a chair, and brought me close repeatedly while telling me what a good pet I’d been, and that he was proud of the way I refrained from orgasm for the past year. He decided to deny me orgasm during this session, as well, and I am grateful to him for that. He also told me he became aroused by the way I thrashed and moaned. I suggested I’d be more than happy to get him off again. He considered and said “No, I want this session to be just about you.”
We will have a talk as to what “just about me” means to me in this context. Getting the opportunity to give Bear an orgasm while being teased and denied myself would have been “just about me”.
The memory of that moment is even better today. I love that my reward for a year of refraining from orgasm was to be brought to the edge repeatedly and then denied. That feels so, so right.
We talked after, I told him that I didn’t know whether I’d come until he got up to wash his hands. “I didn’t know either”, he said.
I asked him how he intends things to go now. Am I staying denied for another year? “I’ll decide on a whim,” he said. “Maybe I’ll have you come one day, just because”. He paused, thought, and then added “You are allowed to petition me, as well. If I am about to make you come, you may say “Please don’t make me come, Sir”, and I’ll probably stop.”
The idea that I am allowed to petition him for more denial, but not for an orgasm, is insanely hot. I may beg to be denied, if and when he decides to give me an orgasm, just to see what that feels like for us both.
Currently reading
I just got done with “Between the World and Me” by Ta-Nehisi Coates. The book is about what it’s like to be black in America, and the constant fear one lives with when black. That was a good, necessary book to read. If tough.
I’ll dig a little deeper into that subject and go with “We were eight years in power” next, then see what he has to say about reparations.