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Orgasm Control: Everyone should try it — 4 Comments

  1. My therapist approves of D/s in general, and orgasm control in particular.

    Years ago, Mrs. Edge and I were seeing a counselor, and trying to explain kink to him was about the most humiliating experience ever. It was in a one-on-one session, and he had this deer-in-the-headlights look to him. Somehow, in all his experience, he had managed to not run across anything more kinky than using blindfolds and fake handcuffs.

    I still cringe when I think about it.

    Yay!(0)Meh(0)
    • Ouch. I feel for you. That explains the need for the "Kink Aware Professionals" lists. I saw a book years ago that was meant to help one's medical professionals understand kink, but I'm not sure I can find it now. "Bound to be free" looks like a likely candidate.

      I feel extraordinarily lucky to have found a therapist that fully embraces the idea of being "non-judgmental".

      Yay!(0)Meh(0)
  2. Interesting post and perspective. I will need to read these articles.

    We have played with orgasm denial for several years now. My wife thought it was "weird" at first and I don't think she knew what to make of it. I get a certain submissive thrill from allowing her control of my orgasms, but my wife enjoys the "courtship behavior" when I am denied. I find that I get the intimacy I really need from her teasing me and allowing me to pleasure her. When I do come, I do "crash" and lose interest in sex for some time. Not so with her.

    I have read a bit of Marnia Robinson's stuff, and I really thought her push was for both partners to stop short of orgasm ~ I never go the sense that she was focused on male orgasm denial. There's no fun in that for me. I love it when she climaxes, it is the sexiest, most erotic thing in my world.

    I just blogged about this, but what causes a dilemma for us is that if I am denied for perhaps longer than a week, I start to get very "needy", wanting to play every night. Still sorting through this...

    Yay!(0)Meh(0)
    • I get what you're saying with getting very needy. From a 10,000 foot view, I see any relationship as a way for both partners to get some needs and desires met, and D/s is no exception. Whatever you come up with has to work for the both of you, and that can take some trial and error.
      In our particular case, Bear will tease me just about every day, sometimes twice daily, morning and evening. It may be brief - maybe just a few seconds. We have rituals that help with that. I serve him breakfast in the morning, naked and kneeling, and he teases me a bit. And he hands me the cock ring in the evening, to be worn throughout the night. More often that not, he'll stroke my erection while he's at it.

      I don't know how I'd feel about not being able to become erect. I don't think I'd like it much.

      This is all possible because we don't use a device. I'm not sure if we ever would, Bear has too much fun making me whimper by teasing my frenum, which he does twice a week or so. And he actually likes me horny and needy. If we ever did go for a device, I can see him choosing one of the ones Lori makes that just cover the head.

      Yay!(0)Meh(0)

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