Struggling

I woke up this morning with this overwhelming urge to stroke my dick. To move the foreskin up and down, and feel it slide over the ball of the barbell. And then I remembered what Bear had said the night before: “If you stroke it feels as if you’re using the piercing against me. That is my piercing, and you’re not allowed to play with it, and you’re not allowed to come.”

So I just lay there and stared at my dick, and the metal in it. Then I got up and did a few push-ups and squats to take my mind off my dick, and then I made breakfast and served it.

I had started stroking myself yesterday. It felt great. I also knew I wasn’t supposed to do that. So I did some exercises, and the exertion helped. And I told Bear about it in the evening, I told him I was struggling to obey him.

Which is when he told me that if I came, he’d be very upset, and he said that thing about “using the piercing against [him].” He also told me he thought it was too early to start stroking. “What has it been, a week and a half?” he asked. He’s right, of course. The good and conservative thing is to wait a while longer, give the piercing more time to heal. My dick disagrees.

This morning, Bear told me he was afraid the piercing would make it more difficult for me to obey him: More difficult not to stroke, and more difficult not to come. We’ve seen the difficulty with stroking. It may well be I’ll also have to adjust to getting to the edge more quickly when Bear teases me.

I, of course, don’t want this piercing to be a source of anxiety for Bear. I want it to be a source of joy, like it is for me. It’s on me to make that happen – one set of squats at a time, if that’s what it takes.

 

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