Talk to each other, you say?

On our 19th anniversary, Bear said “It’s a shame you have a hard time reaching yourself when I hump you. I really like it when you stroke yourself.” Eh? Wut? I don’t have a hard time reaching myself, I just didn’t ask for permission to stroke because I thought it’d be, you know, improperly submissive. Focus on the pleasure of the Dominant and all that.

Yeah. 19 years and now I find out that Bear loves it when I stroke myself while he fucks me; and he finds out I can reach myself just fine. I guess this is what they (They!) mean when they talk about “good communication”. Too funny.


Yay I have mail! “modem” writes:

This is awesome. Please keep your orgasm tracker active; it’s hot seeing how long you go. I’d love to see you keep a log of long denied edging sessions too, but I’ll admit it’s only for… reasons.

Perhaps logging your “successfully denied” masturbation sessions would help motivate better behavior? You get the payoff (and recognition) for being horny enough to jerk off, but disciplined enough to stop. We can distinguish between “success due to swamped at work” from “really struggling but well-behaved”.

Thank you for the kudos! It’s always nice to get feedback. “Long denied edging sessions” are rare with us. Mostly Bear strokes me while I get him off. I don’t set an egg timer, but around 10 minutes or so, less if he comes particularly quickly.

We do have this “dice” thing going, which Bear has suspended for the time being. Too many orgasms without permission. A tracker for masturbation sessions sounds like fun, if rather self-indulgent fun. I didn’t want to clutter the orgasm tracker with daily entries, so I’ve installed and adapted an events plugin for the purpose. Enjoy! Brand-new masturbation calendar. Goodness me. The debauchery around here.



I woke up this morning with this overwhelming urge to stroke my dick. To move the foreskin up and down, and feel it slide over the ball of the barbell. And then I remembered what Bear had said the night before: “If you stroke it feels as if you’re using the piercing against me. That is my piercing, and you’re not allowed to play with it, and you’re not allowed to come.”

So I just lay there and stared at my dick, and the metal in it. Then I got up and did a few push-ups and squats to take my mind off my dick, and then I made breakfast and served it.

I had started stroking myself yesterday. It felt great. I also knew I wasn’t supposed to do that. So I did some exercises, and the exertion helped. And I told Bear about it in the evening, I told him I was struggling to obey him.

Which is when he told me that if I came, he’d be very upset, and he said that thing about “using the piercing against [him].” He also told me he thought it was too early to start stroking. “What has it been, a week and a half?” he asked. He’s right, of course. The good and conservative thing is to wait a while longer, give the piercing more time to heal. My dick disagrees.

This morning, Bear told me he was afraid the piercing would make it more difficult for me to obey him: More difficult not to stroke, and more difficult not to come. We’ve seen the difficulty with stroking. It may well be I’ll also have to adjust to getting to the edge more quickly when Bear teases me.

I, of course, don’t want this piercing to be a source of anxiety for Bear. I want it to be a source of joy, like it is for me. It’s on me to make that happen – one set of squats at a time, if that’s what it takes.