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Taming the monkey — 3 Comments

  1. Thanks for the academic alike approach to this down to earth (yet highly important thing).
    One note and one question
    - Are you trained to cum only with permission or to cum on command. Those are completely two different levels.
    - The one thing that I tottally agree (and fail to communicate to my D type) is the need to teasing. For me I'm willing to do the effort but can't do it and feel forgoten.

    Yay!(0)Meh(0)
    • Good question! I am trained, in a loose sense, to only come with permission. That is, I am able to come without permission, but want to obey more than I want an orgasm. At least that's been true for the past half year or so. Early days still, I won't pretend I'm perfect at this.

      I cannot come on command. That'd take a level of effort and conditioning that Bear has shown no interest in. I am told it's possible with males, though challenging. Bear finds the idea hot; he doesn't like the work that goes into it.
      Conversely, I've not come when I was supposed to, and felt bad about it. Bear told me I never needed to apologize for not coming. That was a relief. This happened earlier this year, when Bear had me come every 1 to 2 weeks, and it was just getting too much for me. He told me to come, and a stubborn part of me went "again so soon?", and despite having the sensation of arriving at the point of no return and then going over it, I did not ejaculate. There's an opportunity there for further training to achieve "come only with permission" in the stricter sense, and, again, more work than Bear wants to take on.

      I hear you on feeling forgotten. That sucks utterly. If you're not playing with chastity, are your needs for physical touch met? I've seen the notion that the s-type's needs aren't that important, and I disagree most strongly. Yes, it's hard to distinguish a need from a want. And, basic needs like feeling loved, desired, receiving touch, having sex, &c., absolutely need to be met for both partners. Kink aside, we've all got similar needs.

      Yay!(0)Meh(0)
      • My needs are purely physical. As any two normal people we do not have the exact same sex drive. From her point of view there is no need for sex daily like I want (need?) it. Thus said she is really happy for me to be locked all the time, she really like the idea that I'm uncomfortable for her...

        Yay!(0)Meh(0)

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