Tumblr response: What’s with this chastity thing?

Tumblr served up text amidst the usual smut, and because that text is about chastity, I am interested and wanted to respond. Tumblr also really doesn’t do responses very well, so I’ll respond here.

bound-indulgence muses on what the point of chastity might be, and talks about his own preferences to leave subs out of a chastity cage. And then he wonders whether he’s alone with that. Go read that and come back.

First off: You’re most certainly not alone. Bear dislikes chastity cages completely. So I don’t ever wear one. We don’t even own one.

He loves denial, though. He wants me coming only with his permission (which I have a spotty record of), and he usually allows an orgasm anywhere between 6 weeks and  4 months apart, though it’s been much shorter, too. He wants to be unpredictable.

If I ever forced his hand to sticking me in a cage, Bear’d be miserable – though less miserable than if I came without permission all the time. I want him happy, not miserable. Learning how to obey him in this has been a very fulfilling journey that also has applications in other aspects of my life. I may blog about that in a bit more depth, separately.

I’ll go and quote some of bound-indulgence’s post and reply directly

To me, pictures of a cock locked up in some cheesy looking plastic device, is a turn off.

I think you’ll find complete agreement with that even with people who do use chastity devices a lot. Cheesy plastic devices are terrible. They pinch, they look like shite, they break. They’re cheap. So they’re a decent option to let someone figure out whether chastity is for them, before they spring for the Lexus or custom-built BMW: Bespoke metal devices made of steel or titanium.

Two good examples of craftsmen/artists who create these are Steelworxx in Germany and Steelwerks in Canada. The former is the Lexus, the latter is the custom BMW. Steelwerks have suggestions for typical devices on their site, and really, anything goes. You can get something completely custom that fits like a glove.

Thumper has blogged a ton about different kinds of devices, so that’d be the first stop for geeking out about chastity devices.

Small penises don’t turn me on

Completely valid, and I’m with you. Some love small dicks, others love big dicks. Different strokes for different folks.

chastity may shrink the penis

Experience says it really doesn’t. See Thumper again, he’s been doing this for years and isn’t sized any differently than he was. It can leave permanent marks or leave semi-permanent indentations.
The psychological impact is profound, and maybe that’s what you’re keying on with “the penis shrinks.” It can sure seem that way.

He should earn orgasms, but I think its hot when he’s finally allowed to cum.

Well, I’d have to agree, only because I don’t want to never come again :). And Bear certainly agrees. When that magical point in time called “finally” arrives really depends on the whims of the Dom, and I think it also depends on what the actual living situation looks like. Is this a “see each other and have a session” kind of deal, or is it a “live together” kind of deal? I think the amount of time to “finally” will vary greatly depending on the relationship between Dom and sub. And of course the Dom’s wishes.

You want your sub to earn an orgasm and if he’s done that, let him come during the session: More power to you!

Bear wants my orgasm to be something that he decides upon at a whim, that I cannot earn or predict. Also completely valid.

There are as many variations to this game as there are people. Some don’t want anything to do with denial, others want periods of hours, or maybe days, yet others prefer a few weeks, yet others months, and some want to go a year or years. There’s no wrong answer here, only what gets everyone involved off – figuratively speaking for the sub that is :),

My last thought is one I’ve taken from Tom and quoted a few times on here already: Chastity with device and denial without device are completely different kinks. Device chastity is about control, or the lack thereof for the sub; denial without device is about obedience. Control in that case is with the sub, not the Dom. The desire to obey, and to follow through on that, can be a powerful expression of devotion.



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