About two weeks ago, after I had knelt between Bear’s legs and given him a blow job and was appropriately hot and bothered, Bear indulged me by teasing me. When I got close, I told him, and he gave me one more stroke before taking his hand away, as he has done in the past. This time, it was too much. After a second or so, my cock twitched involuntarily. “Oh, no,” I said. I clenched, to no avail. “I don’t think I can,” I started, and Bear said “It’s okay, it’s alright”, and as my cock started pumping out cum, he kept saying “it’s okay, don’t worry about it.”
In hindsight, I’m pretty happy that there was no desire at all to lay hands on my cock and make the orgasm more powerful or more pleasurable. The only thing I wanted in that moment is not to come, because Bear hadn’t intended me to.
I’m not worrying about it. At the same time, I am already thinking about ways of avoiding this in future. Warn Bear earlier, if I can. Take off ball weights before being teased. Which I wore, as you do. That sort of thing.
In denial / chastity circles, that sort of orgasm is often referred to as “ruined.” A planned, allowed orgasm with Bear’s hand on my dick is far, far more pleasurable. To call an unplanned orgasm “ruined” doesn’t fit my experience, however. There is still physical pleasure and there is still an hours-long refractory period.
The fictional accounts of ruined orgasms I can discount, those are right there with “inescapable chastity devices” and “being locked against my will” and all the other fun, happy wank-fodder. I do like wank-fodder, even though I don’t wank any more.
Beyond fiction, maybe for some people, coming without stimulation really is akin to ruin. I am curious: If you yourself consider a hands-off orgasm “ruined,” what makes it so? What’s the emotional impact of coming that way?